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Title: How Moody Got His Eye
Author: pyttan
Recipient: [personal profile] dueltastic
Rating: PG-ish. Wouldn't let kids read it. Teenagers would find it pretty lame though.
Word Count: 6000-ish
Characters and/or Pairings: Alastor Moody, Amelia Bones, Emmeline Vance, Marlene McKinnon, Rufus Scrimgeour and Kingsley Schacklebolt. Pairings present.
Summary: Losing parts of yourself is not something that is easily handled.
Warnings: Swearing. Some stupid choices. Some even more stupid cracks. Rudeness. Suicide mission.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Unfortunatly. They all belong to J.K. Rowlings. I earn no money and no insult or infringement is intended.
Author's Notes: A thanks to my lovely Beta who I also consider a dear friend. Without her this story would have been burnt and buried in my garden. I especially thank her for her help with Leagalese in the forth chapter of this tale.

Dear [personal profile] dueltastic, I hope this little tale will amuse even if it isn't exactly what you asked for in your sex and violence prompt. Merry Christmas from me to you!



Incident Report Nr 657
submitted by Amelia Bones 01/11/1979

Aurors on duty: Amelia Bones, Marlene McKinnon, Alastor Moody, Emmeline Vance, Kingsley Shacklebolt, Rufus Scrimgeour.
Shift: Graveyard
Area of Patrol: Diagon Alley
Time of incident: Last noted time 16.23. Attack approx. 10 min. later.
Address of incident: Nr 275, Diagon Alley (Madame Primpernelle's Beautifying Potions)
Casualties: 2: Auror A. Moody. H. Wilkes
Arrests: 1: H. Wilkes. Blinded and stunned by A. Moody.
Course of event: Aurors on duty divided into three teams.
Teams: Team 1: Amelia Bones and Kingsley Shacklebolt; Team 2: Marlene McKinnon and Alastor Moody; Team 3: Emmeline Vance and Rufus Scrimgeour.

At gathering before duty A. Moody stated to liaison Auror Robarts that three teams was at least two teams too few considering previous incidents in the area and the number of teams usually on duty. All present Aurors concurred. No additional teams were dispatched.

Teams spread out over Diagon Alley. Groups moved according to pattern 506 in an attempt to cover the area as efficiently as possible, considering the reduced number of teams.

Attack launched against team 2. Three persons unknown dressed in known Death Eater garb, incl. masks, attacked from behind. Auror Moody launched a counter attack that likely saved Auror McKinnon’s life. Counter attack left him without own defence.

'Auror Moody was hit by several different curses, among them slicing hexes and a suspected Imperius, which the latter is likely to have resulted in Auror Moody tearing his left eye out of its socket. Damages sustained were excessive. Auror McKinnon called for back-up. As other teams arrived at the scene, presumed Death Eaters apparated away. No one was apprehended but H. Wilkes.

Auror McKinnon and Auror Shacklebolt attempted to limit the damage inflicted on Auror Moody at the scene. Initial assessment of damage: Slicing wounds on face and body. Loss of limbs (leg and nose). Loss of eye. Severe blood loss.

At time of report, uncertain if Auror Moody will survive.

Team 1 and Remains of Team 2, 07/11/1979

Moody looked dead.

With his waxen skin, his remaining eye sunken into its socket and cheeks hollow, he looked like the Healer's next move would be to pull the white sheet upwards and cover his face, rather than continue with the diagnostic spell she was preforming.

Amelia looked at the rest of him. Thank Merlin the white sheet covered his mangled torso and what remained of his leg, because she wasn't sure she could handle the sight even now. Marlene couldn't, that was for sure. She'd been crying a lot since the attack. Her crying was silent but very wet, and Amelia had no idea how to deal with it.

“He looks dead,” Amelia said, without thinking first. A stupid comment that set off Marlene crying again.

The Healer looked up and gave her a condescending smile that made Amelia want to hex the bitch. She remembered the Healer from when they both been at Hogwarts. She couldn't remember her name, but she hadn't liked her. Amelia didn't like her any better now.

“Actually, he is doing much better, or we wouldn't have allowed you in the room,” said the Healer. She smoothed down the pristine white sheet around Moody in a way that—in Amelia's opinion—conveyed a disturbing amount of ownership. Her little smile when she stroked back Moody's hair from his forehead not only conveyed the same thing, it also gave Amelia the creeps. She glanced at Kingsley, who met her gaze with a questioning one and then eyed the Healer with a pained, disgusted expression.

“And I don't think you should use the D-word in front of the patient. We don't know if he can hear us or not,” said the Healer. She looked at Marlene and her wet cheeks, made a disgusted little moue and said, “We need to think positive thoughts around him. Create a positive atmosphere for him. We need to think and say positive things that make him want to return to us, even if he is hideously deformed.”

Before Amelia had the time to digest that little nugget of new-bloody-age-wisdom, Kingsley—who, until now, had been a pillar of strength, calm and decisive—obviously had had enough and therefore snapped.

“How is calling him 'hideously deformed' better than saying that he looks dead and crying a bit?” Kingsley asked, spreading his arms in a violent motion that clearly expressed what he was feeling. And it was a good question too.

Kingsley showed promise. She liked him. A good addition to the Aurors, he was.

“He needs to know what to expect, and that there are people who will still love him.” She gave Alastor a meaningful look before she let her eyes slide over Kingsley and Marlene and then come to rest on Amelia. The Healer's face was set in a pious expression that made Amelia want to smack her over the head with a rolled-up newspaper.

Marlene wiped her eyes and blew her nose.

“Are you done examining him now?” Marlene asked. She sounded wobbly and beat.

Amelia looked at Marlene. Her hair was messy, her face blotchy and the dark rings under her eyes made it clear that she'd had a hard time since the attack.

“Yes, I am,” said the Healer with yet another pious smile. “I'm willing to—”

“Then get out,” Marlene said, her voice steady as she got up from the visitor’s chair and reached for her wand in one smooth movement. Amelia had the pleasure of seeing the Healer flinch in surprise and back away from Moody's bed.

“I'm his Heal—”

“Quack!” said Marlene—who seemed to have fallen off the mental ledge she had been balancing on—as she moved closer to the Healer, wand in hand. “Quack, quack, quack, quack, quack!” she continued, as she made shooing motions at the Healer, who was hurrying towards the door, making nervous little noises Amelia thought were supposed to be soothing. Instead, the sounds only added to the general absurdness, and for one second Amelia wanted to laugh, only to feel a hard lump in her throat at the next tick of the clock.

Marlene had almost caught up with the Healer when the door slammed shut, almost clipping Marlene's wand in the process.

“Fucking bitch,” Marlene said, as she checked her wand for damage.

In that moment Moody moved, opened his remaining eye and squawked something incoherent. Kingsley got to his feet before Marlene and Amelia had time to react. Kinglsey grabbed Moody's hand and started speaking with his lovely, soothing voice.

“We're here! We're here. It's me, Amelia and Marlene today. You've been out for almost a week...” Kingsley sent Amelia and Marlene a desperate look and hesitated. She understood him. How in the name of Hades, were they going to handle this? What were they going to say to him?

Moody looked at Kingsley with his remaining eye and pulled at Kingsley's hand. When Kingsley leaned in closer Moody started to mumble something.

First Kingsley seemed to stiffen. Then his eyebrows rose, and then he opened his mouth like he wanted to say something, but without any sound emerging.

Then Moody fell quiet, his eye closed, and he lost his grip on Kingsley's hand, sliding into oblivion again.

“What did he say?” asked Marlene.

“Was he coherent? Did he seem … himself?” asked Amelia.

Kingsley blinked and then pressed his eyelids together.

“Erm ... Yes. He seemed to be himself,” Kingsley opened his eyes again and let out a deep, shaky breath. “He said that if we left him alone with that woman again, he would hunt us down and beat the crap out of us with his chopped off leg.”

The silence in the room lasted a bit too long.

“Well,” said Amelia, in an attempt to say … something. “At least he’s on his way back to being his old self.”

“Yes,” said Marlene. “That's good.”

They all looked at Alastor. His skin was waxen, his remaining eye rested deep in its socket and his cheeks were hollow.

Moody looked dead.

But he wasn't.

And he wasn't going to be.

Not any time soon.

Team 3, 01/12/1979

Sometimes Emmeline just hated Rufus. The man was such a bloody git. She watched as Rufus took yet another swig from the bottle of Firewhisky he'd smuggled into the hospital room. He slouched down in one of the visitor’s chairs with his bad leg on Alastors' bed, giving a convincing impression of being comfortable.

Her arse, on the other hand, hurt after sitting so long on the other visitor’s chair.

And Alastor, who should be in a state of shock, trying to adjust to his new circumstances, was staring as if hypnotised at the bottle Rufus was now holding by the neck and slowly swinging back and forth.

By his narrowed gaze and the barely perceptible pout of his lips, Emmeline knew Rufus was up to something, but what?

“Give me a swig of that,” said Alastor. He stretched out his arm, towards Rufus.

“No. Can't do that. I'm sure your Healer wouldn't be happy if I let you.” Rufus lifted the bottle and took a long, slow sip.

“Come on, Rufus!” Alastor was sounding annoyed now. “I need one.”

“Can't, old chap. Healer's orders. Very dominant, that one. Decidedly territorial as far as you’re concerned. And here I was pegging you as a dominant, rather than a submissive.” Rufus took yet another swig of whisky in a seemingly thoughtful way.

Alastors' face darkened in a way that made Emmeline want to leave the room. She had seen him look like that on very few occasions, and it never boded well.

“Are you insinuating something?” Alastor asked.

Rufus chuckled. “No. Not it all. It's quite obvious who is staying in bed, letting himself be bossed around–dominated, if you will—and who is in charge. You'll be married to her soon, you mark my words. She'll take care of all of your needs...”

“Give. Me. The Bottle.”

“I don't think so. She’s right. You shouldn't be allowed to drink yet. You're bedridden. You need to get on your feet first.” Rufus took another swig out of the bottle and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “Sorry. I meant on your foot,” he added, with a smirk and a wink.

Emmeline couldn't believe this. You just didn't have a conversation like this with someone who had lost so much! Rufus was a horrible person! She looked over at Alastor just in time to see him throw his covers back and swing his leg over the side of the bed with no particular care of the fact that all of his junk was swinging freely and in plain view underneath the idiotic open-in-the-back hospital gown.

And for the sake of Merlin, she could have lived happily without the sight of his hairy arse and … the rest.

“I'll show you feet, you stuck-up-bastard. I can jump faster than you can walk with that fucking affected limp of yours! You only do it to make women feel sorry for you.” Alastor roared these last words at Rufus, who swiftly got to his feet, put the bottle on the seat of the chair and bolted for the door.

And Alastor actually did it. He jumped after Rufus as fast as he could on his remaining leg, and when he realised he wouldn't be able to catch up with him, he managed to grab the crutch that someone had left leaning against the side of the bed and threw it after Rufus.

The crutch hit the wall beside the door with a dull thud just as it closed.

And Emmeline realised that she, yet again, was supposed to take care of the aftermath of Rufus' acts of lunacy and Alastor’s temper.

“Get back to bed,” she said. She didn't even have the energy to show any compassion for Alastor at this point.

Alastor straightened, wobbled a bit on his one leg and gave her a gimlet-eyed stare which she returned without hesitating.

“Now!”

Idiots! Men were idiots!

Alastor mumbled something incoherent at her.

“I heard that,” she said, and Alastor blushed. “Get to bed before I put you in a body bind and float you there,” she added, and she helped him turn towards the bed again.

He supported himself by putting his arm over her shoulders, and they made the few steps to the bed without any problems. Alastor was surprisingly mobile which was nice to discover.

“We need to get you a prosthesis,” she said. “Then you can have a proper go at him.”

Alastor gave her a look.

“Will you fix that for me?” he asked.

She nodded even though her skin went hot at the mere thought of how many times she had suggested that he should try one out.

“Are you going to be a good lass and hand me the bottle too?” asked Alastor as she'd helped him to get comfortable again. He made an obvious stab at looking forlorn. It made him look sinister instead, but she didn't have the strength to argue either way. He wasn't going to change so what was the point.

So she gave him the bottle.

The door behind her opened, and Amelia and Kingsley came in the room. Kingsley almost ran into Amelia's back when she came to an abrupt halt as Amelia spotted the bottle.

“What in the deeper recesses of Hades is going on here?”

Amelia’s tone of voice suggested that she might just have one of her monumental fits at any second. Which was the last thing Emmeline intended to witness at this point.

“You deal with him,” Emmeline said, and she slunk by the two at the door. She threw a glance back at Alastor, who was in the process of stuffing the bottle under his cover in what she assumed was an attempt to make it as difficult to retrieve as possible.

“Give me that!”

Amelia's bellow made no difference at all except for Moody trying to roll himself firmly into the cover, bottle and all.

And Kingsley, the poor guy, was just standing there looking at the debacle of Amelia trying to yank the cover down Alastor’s body, while Alastor was holding on to it for dear life.

“I would let Kingsley do that for you, if I were you,” Emmeline said. “His package is bare under there.”

Emmeline hesitated in the doorway just long enough to witness how Amelia—hearing Emmeline's parting shot—let go of the cover at the same time as Moody tried to yank it loose from her grip.

And up the cover flew uncovering Moody's remaining leg, his stump, and there was the junk again, in plain view.


She would never, ever get over this as long as she lived.

Neither would Kingsley, obviously, because he was laughing, and that laugh sounded downright deranged.

He would need to get used to things soon, he really would, if he planned to be an Auror for any length of time with his sanity intact. She sighed, closed the door and started to walk down the hospital corridor only to bump into Rufus at the first right-hand turn she made.

“You're awful!” she said. “You can't go around saying things like that. What if he'd fallen apart? I hate you sometimes, do you know that?”

Rufus, who was leaning against the wall, most of his weight on his good leg, just laughed as he reached for her and pulled her close.

“No, you don't. You love me. And I got him out of bed, didn't I?”

And he had. Before this Moody had refused to even try, no matter what anyone had said or done, but Rufus had not only got him up, he'd had him fighting too.

Which was a good thing. Much healthier than staying in bed moping, anyway.

“You're still awful, and Amelia and he are fighting over the bottle now,” said Emmeline, and Rufus laughed again. This time until tears streamed from his eyes.

Then he kissed her, and Merlin save her from this man, because she had no defences against him.

“I found an empty room down this corridor. Want to celebrate with me?” he asked as he broke the kiss and stroked his hand down her hair.

She shouldn't. He wasn't good for her. He'd never been good for her, and he was never going to be.

She nodded and went with him down the corridor, feeling better than she had for weeks.

Team 1, the remains of Team 2 and Team 3 04/12/1979

The glasses at The Hog's Head had been wiped, not to be confused with being cleaned or washed since the outside of the glasses felt sticky and had a certain murky, cloudy tinge. Marlene pushed away the image of what the previous guests who had been drinking from the glasses might have looked like and threw a scouring charm at the glass. She added cleansing charm for good measure before Aberforth poured her drink.

“Well, well. Aren't you the fancy one?” said Aberforth in an insulted growl.

Marlene couldn't believe he had the gall to even comment on her cleaning spells, considering the lack of hygiene at the Hog’s Head.

“You have hags, Dung, and at least one night stalker as regular guests here, beside who-knows-what's hiding under shawls and hats, so are you really that surprised?” Marlene asked, on the verge of drawing her wand on him instead of the glass. By way of response Aberforth sneered, muttered, poured her drink and went on to fill Kingsley's glass. When they had all been served their beverage of choice Marlene got to the point of the meeting.

“Two of the Death Eaters that attack us had blond hair. White blond.”

Amelia looked at Marlene.

“Abraxas Malfoy and his brat then,” she said, and Marlene wondered at her calm appearance. She'd had the image of Amelia ranting and raving at this news but no reaction like that seemed to be even remotely likely.

She regarded the rest of the Aurors at the table. Kingsley looked depressed. Rufus was looking straight at her, his yellow eyes underneath heavy eyelids in an expression of idleness that was probably designed to give a false impression of uselessness. Emmeline was sitting straight-backed and stiff-necked, staring at the smoking candle on the table.

“Why haven't you told us this before?” asked Rufus. He took a sip of whatever horrifically strong beverage he favoured at the moment.

Marlene wondered if he knew the image he adopted to look harmless only gave his leonine air even greater impact, thus making him downright scary.

Marlene said, “I wasn't sure. I needed to talk to Alastor first. He brought it up yesterday, wanting me to promise to go a' hunting with him as soon as he got on his feet.”

Amelia nodded and sighed.

“He would want that, wouldn't he?” she said.

“Yeah,” said Kingsley, looking even more depressed.

“That Malfoy brat a friend of yours, Kingsley?” asked Rufus with a sneer.

It was surprising how Rufus seemed to detest some of the pureblood families, considering his was one of them and a bloody stuck up one too.

Kingsley gave him a cold look.

“We went to Hogwarts together. I'm black and was born in Jamaica. What do you think?”

Rufus nodded and conceded his point.

“What do we do?” asked Emmeline. “We have no evidence they were involved, and the way things are looking, then anything we do—“

Aberforth slammed down a bottle of cherry schnapps on the scarred table top, making them all flinch. Rufus—taken by surprise for once—spilt his drink.

“For fuck sake, why did you do that?” he said as he jumped back to avoid the better part of the alcohol that was running down the edge of the table.

“Because listening to you lot being slow almost made me cry, and that’s not something I do,” said Aberforth. “How hard can it be? You need to get Alastor up and about. And then you need to let him get back at them somehow, without him ending up in Azkaban. And you lot know they did it, so all you need to figure out is what would hurt them most without you getting caught doing anything untoward.”

Marlene watched as Aberforth wiped down the table with the filthiest rag she'd ever seen. She didn't even want to know what the brown stains were. She decided that she'd never noticed the rusty red ones in the first place.

When he'd left she reached for the cherry schnapps and poured shots for herself and Amelia.

“He made a good point,” Emmeline said.

“Of course I did,” Aberforth shouted from the bar. “But do people listen? No, they don't, they listen to that brother of mine, that's what they do.” Aberforth mumbled something they couldn't hear and then emphasised his displeasure by banging cupboard doors and slamming glasses on hard surfaces.

“So,” said Amelia. “If we were to kick Abraxas Malfoy in the proverbial jewels, how should we go about it?”

Rufus smiled. He had sharp, elongated corner teeth Marlene couldn't help noticing.

“That’s easy: his artefact collection,” Rufus said. “There are a lot of interesting dark and borderline dark objects there.”

Emmeline snorted and said, “We can't break in to Malfoy Manor. That would be stupid, or possibly suicidal.”

Rufus sneered at her.

“Who said anything about breaking and entering? We are Aurors. We uphold the law,” he said.

Emmeline snorted. “Don’t be stupid, Rufus. We won’t get permission to search his mansion for dark artefacts. Not even you would be able to pull that off, short of sleeping with that Umbridge woman and that won’t happen.” Emmeline gave Rufus a look that could have burnt a hole in him.

Kingsley had been watching Rufus closely during Emmeline’s and his conversation and just as the sun broke through clouds, his amazing smile broke through the dim lighting of the Hog’s Head. For a short moment Marlene just stared at him, because Merlin, how incredibly handsome Kingsley was!

“But we aren't after any dark objects, are we Rufus?” Kingsley asked. “We’re after something else. Something he keeps in the open. Something he is proud enough to brag about and has on display.”

Rufus smiled again and nodded. He had something more to say, she just knew it. But what?

“Can it help Alastor?” Aberforth shouted from the bar.

Rufus pursed his lips, annoyed, and rolled his eyes, which meant Aberforth most probably had stolen his thunder. When Amelia started to laugh, Marlene knew that was case.

“The Eye of Horus,” she said. “I thought you had something for the leg in mind, but you’re talking about the Eye of Horus, aren't you, you arrogant prick?”

“He took Alastor's eye. Only fair he replaces it.” Rufus looked smug.

“What's the Eye of Horus?” Emmeline asked.

Amelia smiled, as if she was beginning to see the possibilities.

“According to myth, two Egyptian gods, Set and Horus, fought, and Set gouged out Horus's left eye. I'm not quite sure but I think the payback was tearing Set's nuts off or some such,” Amelia said. “Fitting choice, since Malfoy is extremely proud of that ornament of his.”

“Not only proud,” added Rufus. “He claims it's the real deal. His argument being that the gem in the Artefact hasn’t been identified yet.”

“He claims it's the real eye?” asked Emmeline looking disgusted.

“He does,” said Rufus. “And if it is—and that’s a big if—then with some luck, we might be able to turn the thing into something useful for Alastor,” he said, nodding at them.

Marlene giggled. In fact, everyone at the table was smiling or laughing or giggling, nervously, since they were going into Malfoy Manor, but still, it could be worth it. If they didn't get themselves killed.

Even Aberforth was smiling over at the bar. It was a tight little smile, but a smile never the less.

Marlene looked at Kingsley opposite her and met his eyes before she had the time to hide her interest.

He smiled at her and blinked. She smiled back.

This Christmas might not turn out as bad as she had thought it would.


Inspection rapport Nr 1
submitted by Kingsley Shacklebolt 19/12/1979

Shift: Day
Time of inspection: 12.00
Address of inspection: Malfoy Manor, Wiltshire Reason for inspection: The Aurors’ office made the inspection according to decision 402 which was taken 18/12/1979, according to which all known collections of Ancient Artefacts must be examined due to recent cases in which members of the public have been harmed by artefacts which, unknown to their owners, contained dark magic.
Casualties: 0
Arrests: 0
Course of event: Two teams were dispatched to make the inspection at Malfoy Manor.
Team 1: Amelia Bones and Kingsley Shacklebolt; Team 2: Emmeline Vance and Rufus Scrimgeour.

Nothing out of the ordinary expected to be uncovered upon inspection. Subjects Abraxas and Lucius Malfoy refused Aurors access to several rooms. Subjects were thus informed that because Aurors were denied the possibility to do a more thorough search, they would not be able to do a satisfactory job. Despite this, several rooms remained locked. However, when diagnostic spells were used in one of the rooms the teams were permitted to enter, Team 2 was led to a highly valuable ancient Egyptian artefact which is, according to subject Abraxas Malfoy, called the Eye of Horus, made of gold and an unidentified gem of uncertain origin and value. Object alleged to provide safety, health, wisdom and prosperity to owner. Diagnostic spells clearly indicated that the object had dark traits that might pose a threat to Wizarding society, under Ministry Decision 402, cited above.

Subject Abraxas Malfoy first refused to relinquish the Artefact; subject levelled numerous accusations against Aurors on duty, in contravention of Ministry decree 6997, concerning attempted theft of the Artefact. Aurors on duty have chosen not to press charges against subject Abraxas Malfoy, despite aggression displayed towards Aurors in pursuit of their duties, as such reaction may be considered normal for any member of the Malfoy family in view of the value of the confiscated object.

After attempting to placate subject Abraxas Malfoy, Aurors on duty were nevertheless forced to protect themselves by putting him and subject Lucius Malfoy in full body binds.

As Aurors on duty were leaving Malfoy Manor a second suspected dark object was also discovered and confiscated: a pillar table. The pillar was determined to carry dangerous carvings.

Subject Abril Malfoy remained unconvinced of the potential dangers of housing the items listed above and claimed the table was a wedding gift to her and her spouse from the Rosier side of the family. This information confirmed suspicions of Aurors on duty and necessitated that the said objects be inspected further in a controlled environment.

After leaving receipts for the confiscated objects, the teams then left Malfoy Manor following further accusations and threats, which caused Auror teams to become concerned for their personal safety.

Auror Rufus Scrimgeour turned the objects over to Unspeakable Nr 208 who, after analysing the objects, confirmed their dark capacities. Said objects were then officially impounded.

The Malfoy family has confirmed that it will be pressing charges against the Auror office.

Teams 1, 2 and 3, 25/12/1979

“Let's bang open the door and shout Happy Christmas, at the top of our lungs,” said Amelia. She had the pleasure of seeing everyone look at her as if she'd lost her mind. “He'll hate that,” she added and got approving nods from both Emmeline and Marlene this time.

“Well, feel free. I'll just stand behind the door until he's run out of hexes,” said Kingsley, which confirmed that Amelia's assessment had been correct: He was a calm and adaptable man with a more than a spoonful common sense, which made him a good addition to the Aurors. With some luck he might even become a great one.

“Wimp,” said Scrimgeour, and confirmed Amelia's assessment of him as a prime heel with no instinct for self-preservation. And it would be a good thing if she could get Emmeline to end her relationship with him before it got her killed. She didn't harbour much hope that she would manage though since Emmeline seemed to turn into a mindless puddle of hormones every time Rufus was in the same room.

“Get ready to throw a bubble-shield,” said Amelia. “On three …one, two, three …”

Amelia turned the handle, Rufus kicked open the door and all four of them got stuck in the doorway as they tried to go through it at the same time, while Alastor roared something menacing from his bed.

Amelia got her shield up just before falling over, taking the rest of them down with her. Alastor’s hex bounced against her shield with an ominous screeching sound and then continued to zing around his room, leaving a green trail of stream and burn marks in its wake. In the end it hit Alastor’s pillow, burning a hole straight through it.

“What was that?” asked Rufus, lifting his head from the floor.

Amelia realised that was all he was able to lift since Emmeline and Marlene had fallen on him.

“What did you do that for?” said Alastor from the bed, giving them an annoyed glare with his one eye.

“They, not me,” said Kingsley as he came into the room. He stepped over Amelia, scooping up the smaller of the gifts and grabbing hold of the bigger one, hoisting it over his shoulder, walking over to the bed and dumping them in Alastor’s lap. “You see, I’m not an inconsiderate idiot. They mean well, we both know that, but at times they are not exactly people-persons. They’ve got a twisted sense of humour.” He smiled and sat down. “This is our version of shouting Happy Christmas. They were supposed to do that, too, going in.”

Alastor actually chuckled, which was nice.

Amelia got to her feet, pulled Marlene up with her and left Emmeline and Rufus on the floor. They were, most likely, used to untangling their limbs from each other by now so Amelia assumed they could be left to their own devices.

“Happy Christmas, Alastor,” said Amelia. Alastor was busy eyeing the larger gift curiously and throwing a diagnostic spell at it.

“Dear Merlin, Alastor! Don’t you think we made sure already?” said Emmeline, trying to snatch Alastor’s wand from him.

Alastor kept it out of reach. “Can’t be too careful these days, little girl. You never know where it’s been before it got into our hands.”

“But we do,” said Marlene. “We know exactly where these came from.”

Alastor lowered his wand and peered at her with his remaining eye.

“And where do these gifts come from then.” He waved a hand over the gift-wrapped objects.

“Malfoy Manor,” said Emmeline.

Amelia had to admire her; no one could do dead pan like Emmeline.

And it had effect. Alastor stiffened like a Niffler sensing gold.

“Malfoy Manor? Really?” he asked. “And that makes you sure they aren’t dark objects.”

“Yes,” said Amelia and plonked down on the side of his bed beside Kingsley. “Really. Open them. They’re from all of us.”

Alastor went for the big gift first —the shape being a bit of a giveaway—which forced Amelia to swallow hard to get rid of the lump in her throat.

When the wrapping was removed, Alastor stared at the gift without saying anything.

“Do you like it?” Marlene asked, sounding cautious when the silence threatened to continue.

“It has carvings,” Alastor said. “Vines and flowers.”

“Yes,” said Rufus. “Abril Malfoy said it was some woodcarver or the other from the sixteenth century that made them. She wasn’t all that pleased about us taking it actually, or what do the rest of you say?”

Amelia and the rest nodded and confirmed, while Alastor took the prosthetic leg and held it the right way.

“What did use to be?” he asked with a smirk.

“A pillar table,” Amelia said. “From the Rosier side of the family, we understood. Valuable and old, or so she said. And a lot of sentimental value too.”

Alastor smirked. “Vines and flowers are good.”

“It’s a bit heavy,” Kingsley warned.

“I’ll manage.”

Alastor threw his leg and the stump over the side of the bed and with a surprising lack of fuss got the prosthetic in place.

“It fits,” he said and rose. He took a couple of steps. “Heavy, but workable,” he added with a small smile that made Amelia’s lump return, forcing her to swallow again.

He didn’t walk far. Just a couple of steps, but it was still so much more than she had expected. Judging from the look on the others' faces neither had they.

“Open the other one now,” said Marlene.

Alastor sat down on the bed and hoisted both his legs up upon the bed. He lifted the much smaller package and gave it a good looking over.

“And this is from Malfoy Manor too?”

Amelia nodded in confirmation and Alastor started to unwrap it. He went very slowly like he was savoring the moment.

“What is this?” Alastor looked at the contraption inside the box.

Kingsley, always courageous when it came to delivering news that might be received less than well, stepped in.

“It’s a prosthetic eye. We think it might work, but we’re not sure. The construction is … unique.”

Which was a good way of putting it, Amelia thought, and watched as the eye that Alastor had lifted out of the box as it swirled around in its holder giving the impression of being a living entity.

A scary living entity.

Which it might just be...

“What’s it made of?” Alastor asked as he stared at the eye with a fascinated interest that was quite worrying in Amelia's opinion.

“Malfoy’s Eye of Horus,” said Rufus.

Amelia didn’t mind. It had been his idea to begin with and a brilliant one at that, so he deserved to be the one to tell Alastor.

Alastor chuckled as he started to attach the eye.

“Abraxas Malfoy. The murdering bastard. Valuable is it?”

“Not valuable as much as priceless,” Kingsley said, and Alastor's chuckle turned into laughter.

Amelia watched as Alastor fiddled with the eye. He seemed to have gotten it in place, then came an “Oh, fuck!” from Alastor, followed by a squelching sound as the eye seemed to burrow its way into his head. The hideous display ended with a nasty slurping sound as the flesh seemed to give way and suck the eye the remaining way into the empty eye socket in Alastor's face.

And then eye went berserk! It spun wildly and dizzying around it's own axel, it's iris disappering into Alastor's head only spin out again, all the time moving independetly from the other eye giving the impresson of watching everyone and everything at the same time.

“Oh Merlin, we need to get it out!” Marlene said at the same time as Amelia got to her feet ready to tear the blasted thing out of Alastor's head.

“Don't you lot even dare!”

Alastor's roar stopped them in their tracks, Kingsley in a silly mid-track.

The fact that Alastor was aiming his wand against them also helped him stop them of course. Anyone with sense would stop.

“Are...are you all right?” asked Rufus and ran the back of his hand over his face. He looked shaken for the first time since Amelia had got to know him.

Alastor's new eye kept spinning around in its socket while the other one gazed steadily at them.

“Never better. Do you have any idea what you have done?”

“No. I would say the answer is no to that,” Emmeline said, voice trembling and staring at the spinning eye as if hypnotized.

Alastor leaned forward.

“Not only did you give me my eye-sight back...” He smiled broadly, “... I can see through the back of my head. I can see everything.” he said. “Everything!”

And then Alastor started to laugh.



A/N: The description of Alastor's leg was inspired by this picture.

http://i.cdn.youbeauty.com/p/482031/thumbnail/entry_id/0_7ezwnbg8/width/0/height/0/quality/90

Comments

( 41 comments — Leave a comment )
minervas_eule
Jan. 1st, 2015 09:14 pm (UTC)
*Wow*, I love this! That's truely inspired: objects confiscated from Malfoy Manor :-), priceless dark objects - that is right for Alastor as kind of a repayment for his losses!
And I also love the auror group-interactions *gg*
pyttan
Feb. 12th, 2015 08:12 am (UTC)
Thank you! I'm so happy you liked it. It always did annoy me that I never got to know Moodys' backstory about how he lost his leg and eye so, of course, I took the opportunity now when I got the lovely Auror prompt from dueltastic, it was a done deal for me.

So glad you enjoyed my slightly strange group of Aurors too.

hiddenhibernian
Jan. 1st, 2015 09:42 pm (UTC)
“He said that if we left him alone with that woman again, he would hunt us down and beat the crap out of us with his chopped off leg” - Genious!

I was wondering who Rufus was for ages, and then I realised as soon as you mentioned he was 'leonine'... I already loved your characterisation of him, both the bad boy charm and how he knew exactly how to get Moody out of bed – sounds like Auror Scrimgeour has hidden depths! Amelia Bones' assessment of him later on sounds spot on.

Aberforth's eminently sound advice and his complaint that no one ever listens to him was hilarious... and sadly entirely correct.

“Aurors on duty have chosen not to press charges against subject Abraxas Malfoy” - how very magnanimous of them...

I love how we get a look behind the scenes at the Aurory, both at the very different individuals and their relationship to each other, and how they club together to get some justice for Alastor. The characterisation is amazing and it was a most enjoyable fic, well done!
pyttan
Feb. 12th, 2015 08:25 am (UTC)
Thank you so much for the lovely review. I'm so happy you liked the story.

And yeah, for some odd reson I can actually hear Moody saying a thing like that...

And I'm very fond of Rufus. His character in the books was quite well developed even though he didn't feature much, and I so enjoy working with how a character like his might have evolved through the years.

Yes, I kind lot, the Aurors are. Understanding how upset the Malfoy's were about the items and being so forgiving about their behavior.

I'm very happy you liked the characterizations. I always put a lot of time into that and it's very satisfying when someone notices that.

Thanks again!

marginaliana
Jan. 1st, 2015 10:08 pm (UTC)
This is fantastic! The use of the confiscated items was very inspired and I loved the banter between all of them. Delightful!
pyttan
Feb. 12th, 2015 08:26 am (UTC)
Thank you for the lovely review! I'm so glad you enjoyed the read.
jean_doe_27
Jan. 1st, 2015 11:27 pm (UTC)
Very good takin the eye and the stump from the Malfoys! Couldn't be better!
pyttan
Feb. 12th, 2015 08:27 am (UTC)
Thank you! I always did think the Malfoy's got off easy so I enjoyed giving them som grief with this story.
dueltastic.dreamwidth.org
Jan. 2nd, 2015 01:46 am (UTC)
Dear Mystery Author, this looks fabulous! I confess I had a somewhat late and enthusiastic New Year's party, so I'm going to need a nice restorative pot of tea and a little sleep before I fall prey to the tender mercies of Aurors. (You know what they say about the tender mercies of Aurors...)
pyttan
Feb. 12th, 2015 08:44 am (UTC)
*Giggles* How I wish mine had been a little later and more enthusiastic than it actually was....
jodel_from_aol
Jan. 2nd, 2015 07:48 am (UTC)
Oh my. That is... inspired.

Absolutely inspired. Admittedly the teams come across as about four steps to the left of the Keystone Kops, but you can still believe they get the job done. And they know how to work together.

Thank you! This was fun!
pyttan
Feb. 12th, 2015 08:47 am (UTC)
Thank you! I'm glad you found the story entertaining. I knew what I wanted to write but had a really rough start getting the story down on paper, so hearing that you found it both inspired and fun is very warming.
cabepfir
Jan. 2nd, 2015 08:18 am (UTC)
CONSTANT VIGILANCE, MALFOY! You never know what (or who) may enter your house!

Ahahah. I loved the report structure and the various characters' personalities showing through, especially Rufus and Emmeline. My favourite part, though, was probably the reaction of the Malfoys and especially Abril with her wedding gift from the Rosier side of the family. Lol! Thanks for sharing!
pyttan
Feb. 12th, 2015 08:55 am (UTC)
The Malfoys... to arrogant by far, aren't they? It's always nice to get to give them a part of the comeuppance they so deserved but didn't nearly get enough of in the books.

And I'm very happy about you liking the report structure. I felt a bit like I was cheating using them, but my Beta assured me they were working so I went with it.

I like Rufus and Emmeline too, and I might just need to write more about those two.

Thank you for the lovely review!
kellychambliss
Jan. 3rd, 2015 02:52 am (UTC)
As soon as I saw the title, I knew I was going to enjoy this. The tone is perfect -- battlefield gallows humor and hard-assedness, just as I imagine Aurors speaking.

“He said that if we left him alone with that woman again, he would hunt us down and beat the crap out of us with his chopped off leg.”

The silence in the room lasted a bit too long.

“Well,” said Amelia, in an attempt to say … something. “At least he’s on his way back to being his old self.”

Ahaha! The perfect Moody remark.

And for the sake of Merlin, she could have lived happily without the sight of his hairy arse and … the rest.
Not only hilarious, but also a fine moment of characterization for Emmeline.

The glasses at The Hog's Head had been wiped, not to be confused with being cleaned or washed
Yep, just how I imagine them.

“He took Alastor's eye. Only fair he replaces it.” Rufus looked smug.
I like the way Rufus thinks.

Such a clever plot all around -- this explanation is my head canon now.
pyttan
Feb. 12th, 2015 09:22 am (UTC)
Thank you! I'm so glad you enjoyed the story.

As far as Moody goes, I can so hear him say a thing like that. The rest of the Aurors were so much fun to write since they took care of their own characterizations themselves, which was odd but enjoyable.

And the hygien at Hog's Head... I tend to be fastidious, and I am one of those annoying people that always check the utensils and glasses at restaurants before using them. A hang up if you will. And the descriptions of the Hog's Head... I just know how those glasses looks and feels to the touch *shudders*. I'm so happy that I'm not the only one who knows.

Rufus is one of those characters I have a love-jate relationship with. I can't help admiring him in a way (in canon) but at the same time he such a politician, in the worst sense of the word, which annoys me immensely. Which have me thinking about his formative years and of course how a young Rufus would have been before he was sharpened into what he became.

This is the highest praise imaginable for me, creating a piece of head canon for someone.

Thank you so much!

(Deleted comment)
pyttan
Feb. 12th, 2015 09:30 am (UTC)
Thank you darling! I'm so glad to hear you enjoyed it.

I'd alos be flattered no end if you also figured out I was the author based on those reports you enjoyed ;). I love sidestepping of protocols too. Or using them to my advantage. That works also.

And yes, the Healer! I had hoped she would make another appearance, but alas, the rest of the Aurors realized Moody's threat was quite real and kept her away it seems.

Thank you so much! Creating a little piece of head canon for you is the highest praise you could have offered.

sassy_cat
Jan. 3rd, 2015 07:58 pm (UTC)
Oh, this was a superb story. I absolutely loved that Alastor's fellow Aurors fleeced the Malfoys out of priceless artifacts to make amends (and keep Moody out of Azkaban). So many vividly developed secondary characters—Rufus was especially wonderful. This was extremely enjoyable and just the sort of missing canon that keeps fandom thriving. Thanks for sharing!
pyttan
Feb. 12th, 2015 04:02 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much for the lovely review! I try to put a lot of work into the characters and this time, when I finally got started, they did the work on their own.

Rufus is one of those I characters I have a love-hate relationship towards, so I'm glad you liked him. I'm particularly happy you view the story as missing cannon. Tank you!
dreamy_dragon73
Jan. 3rd, 2015 11:27 pm (UTC)
This was excellent! I love the explanation for Moody's eye and your team of aurors. Everyone is so very well characterised - I'm especially fond of Amelia and Kingsley.
Brilliant Story!
pyttan
Feb. 12th, 2015 04:04 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much! I'm so glad you enjoyed the read and liked my take on ... how Moody got his eye ... and leg.
therealsnape
Jan. 4th, 2015 11:38 am (UTC)
that little nugget of new-bloody-age-wisdom I just love your Amelia and her reactions to the healer.

“How is calling him 'hideously deformed' better than saying that he looks dead and crying a bit?” He shows promise, indeed.

The Healer's face was set in a pious expression that made Amelia want to smack her over the head with a rolled-up newspaper. How sad that convention stopped her. Such a useful thing to do.

“He said that if we left him alone with that woman again, he would hunt us down and beat the crap out of us with his chopped off leg.” What a perfect Moody line. Amelia's reply is priceless.

“We need to get you a prosthesis,” she said. “Then you can have a proper go at him.” Rufus's approach is faultless, of course, and Marlene certainly catches on quickly.

And you lot know they did it, so all you need to figure out is what would hurt them most without you getting caught doing anything untoward.” He makes an excellent point.

Let's bang open the door and shout Happy Christmas, at the top of our lungs,” said Amelia. She had the pleasure of seeing everyone look at her as if she'd lost her mind. “He'll hate that,” she added and got approving nods from both Emmeline and Marlene this time.
Ah, but it warms the cockles of my heart to see how hard they try to make poor old Moody's Christmas truly special. Too, too sweet for words.

I love Amelia's assessments of Kingsley and Rufus, and Alastor's reaction is exactly as touching as I hoped.

And the gifts are as marvelous as this story. Head-canon for me, now. This is how Moody got his eye.
christev
Jan. 5th, 2015 05:08 am (UTC)
Head-canon for me, now. This is how Moody got his eye.
100% in agreement!

Mystery Author, this is brilliant, both in the explanation of how Moody got his eye and leg, and also in the FABULOUS camaraderie amongst the Aurors. I love them in all their swearing, drinking, pranking glory - that entire style of interaction and all of their characterization are also now head canon for me! :D
pyttan
Feb. 13th, 2015 07:47 pm (UTC)
It means a lot to me that you view this story as head canon. To me that is the highest praise possible.

Thank you so much!

pyttan
Feb. 12th, 2015 07:07 pm (UTC)
I'm so glad that you, me and Amelia seems to agree on some fundamental things in life like for example:

A. One should base medical treatments on facts and those facts should be established through empirical research and evidence. Not through incense (hallucinatory or otherwise).
B. Kingsley is such a nice guy that he should, if life would be fair (which it isn't), get laid soon. With someone nice. That he likes. And who likes him back.
C. Papers are useful since they--even used as a weapon--are not able to do any major harm, ergo you can get away with beating on people with them when they have annoyed you long enough.

I think the three of us would get along splendidly if we got together and--lets say--share a bottle of whisky. Or schnaps.

Rufus is surprisingly sly for a Gryffindor and with that kind of support he was bound to succeed in getting Moody up and about. Annoying but efficient Rufus is.

And Moody do need to get up and about. Nothing better than good friends going all Holiday cheer-ish on your arse to make you break out your hexes to get back at them. And they all know that and are willing to pull together to achieve that. That is what friends are for.

And you gave me the greatest compliment I can imagine: to write something that is worthy enough to be considered head canon.

Thank you so much, both for the lovely compliment and for hosting Hoggywartyxmas again! I had a lovely time.
dueltastic.dreamwidth.org
Jan. 5th, 2015 03:01 am (UTC)
Mystery Author, I love you. You've given me the best present a girl could have. Swearing, rotten, snarky Aurors and Alastor Moody's ugly, hairy swinging junk; I could not have wished for more.

I adore each and every one of your characterizations. Your horrible Aberforth, your snide Amelia, your depressed Alastor, your sweary Marlene, your rude golden-boy Rufus, your devil-may-care Emmeline. I adore the structure of this, the formal reports being used to cover up weary, embattled Aurors taking the law into their own hands. I love the grittiness, I love the feel of the cynical 1970s cop dramas flowing out through the Potterverse's Auror force, the Sweeney in a magical war.

Warnings: Swearing. Some stupid choices. Some even more stupid cracks. Rudeness. Suicide mission.

Warnings, or summary of the BEST STORY EVER?

Auror Moody launched a counter attack that likely saved Auror McKinnon’s life. Counter attack left him without own defence.

Alastor, you old softie.

Auror Moody was hit by several different curses, among them slicing hexes and a suspected Imperius, which the latter is likely to have resulted in Auror Moody tearing his left eye out of its socket.

I don't think you need to worry about the violence half of the sex and violence, dear Mystery Author. This is gloriously bloody. My hat is off to you.

Moody looked dead. [...]

“He looks dead,” Amelia said, without thinking first. A stupid comment that set off Marlene crying again.


How I love this blunt Amelia.

The Healer's face was set in a pious expression that made Amelia want to smack her over the head with a rolled-up newspaper.

And here, too. God, she's wonderful.

Kingsley—who, until now, had been a pillar of strength, calm and decisive—obviously had had enough and therefore snapped. [...]

Kingsley showed promise. She liked him. A good addition to the Aurors, he was.


And your Kingsley - calm on the outside, but can only be pushed so far.

“Then get out,” Marlene said, her voice steady as she got up from the visitor’s chair and reached for her wand in one smooth movement. Amelia had the pleasure of seeing the Healer flinch in surprise and back away from Moody's bed. [...]

“Fucking bitch,” Marlene said, as she checked her wand for damage.


I have never loved a portrayal of Marlene McKinnon more. This is fabulous. She's a splendid partner for Moody here, emotional and sincere, but also tough as nails and not afraid to get what she wants by unsettling people.

for one second Amelia wanted to laugh, only to feel a hard lump in her throat at the next tick of the clock

I love the dry emotional tone of all of this, how clearly off-balance and full of grief they are to be standing around Moody's hospital bed, yet how many stiff upper lips and jaded Auror facades are in play.

“He said that if we left him alone with that woman again, he would hunt us down and beat the crap out of us with his chopped off leg.”

I love Moody. I love Moody like never before. This is the best line ever.

By his narrowed gaze and the barely perceptible pout of his lips, Emmeline knew Rufus was up to something, but what?

Best young Rufus ever. Slouching and cunning, playing up his limp for the ladies.

just in time to see him throw his covers back and swing his leg over the side of the bed with no particular care of the fact that all of his junk was swinging freely and in plain view underneath the idiotic open-in-the-back hospital gown.

Mystery Author, no one has ever loved me enough to give me something as wonderful as this.
dueltastic.dreamwidth.org
Jan. 5th, 2015 03:03 am (UTC)
Pt 2
Rufus, who was leaning against the wall, most of his weight on his good leg, just laughed as he reached for her and pulled her close. [...]

“You're still awful, and Amelia and he are fighting over the bottle now,” said Emmeline, and Rufus laughed again. This time until tears streamed from his eyes.


I love Rufus so much, with his bad attitude and his bad leg.

“I found an empty room down this corridor. Want to celebrate with me?” he asked as he broke the kiss and stroked his hand down her hair.

And here is the sex. You sell yourself short, Mystery Author, your story contains all the traditional literary charms. Sex and violence fulfilled. They are so fabulously we're-all-going-to-die-tomorrow-so-let's-do-it-in-the-cupboard.

“Well, well. Aren't you the fancy one?” said Aberforth in an insulted growl.

I love your Aberforth. He's a hard, offensive git, and he's perfect. And I love that they're all drinking at the worst bar they can find.

“Abraxas Malfoy and his brat then,” she said

They are so perfectly the heroes of their story, and so of their time here - Abraxas Malfoy is the senior Malfoy who rates a mention, his snotty kid is just tagging along.

Rufus was looking straight at her, his yellow eyes underneath heavy eyelids in an expression of idleness that was probably designed to give a false impression of uselessness. [...] It was surprising how Rufus seemed to detest some of the pureblood families, considering his was one of them and a bloody stuck up one too.

I love this depiction of Rufus as the upper-class wizarding golden boy who's hardened by his job into a human being, albeit a sly and manipulative one.

Kingsley gave him a cold look. “We went to Hogwarts together. I'm black and was born in Jamaica. What do you think?”

I love how grounded this story is in the Muggle 1970s, it gives a fantastic sense of verisimilitude to the two worlds in parallel.

“Because listening to you lot being slow almost made me cry, and that’s not something I do,” said Aberforth.

Fuck, I love Aberforth. I love him a lot. This is fabulous. You have written amazing characterization into their dialog.

Kingsley had been watching Rufus closely during Emmeline’s and his conversation and just as the sun broke through clouds, his amazing smile broke through the dim lighting of the Hog’s Head. For a short moment Marlene just stared at him, because Merlin, how incredibly handsome Kingsley was!

Have I mentioned that I also adore Kingsley? I adore Kingsley, too.
dueltastic.dreamwidth.org
Jan. 5th, 2015 03:06 am (UTC)
Pt 3
Subject Abril Malfoy [...] claimed the table was a wedding gift to her and her spouse from the Rosier side of the family. This information confirmed suspicions of Aurors on duty and necessitated that the said objects be inspected further in a controlled environment.

Your Aurors are fabulous. So gloriously dry. Amelia and Kingsley are incredible with paperwork. She has taught him well.

“Let's bang open the door and shout Happy Christmas, at the top of our lungs,” said Amelia. She had the pleasure of seeing everyone look at her as if she'd lost her mind. “He'll hate that,” she added and got approving nods from both Emmeline and Marlene this time.

Oh my god, I love Amelia. And the camaraderie of the Aurors that you show in this fic.

“Well, feel free. I'll just stand behind the door until he's run out of hexes,” said Kingsley, which confirmed that Amelia's assessment had been correct: He was a calm and adaptable man with a more than a spoonful common sense, which made him a good addition to the Aurors. With some luck he might even become a great one.

“Wimp,” said Scrimgeour, and confirmed Amelia's assessment of him as a prime heel with no instinct for self-preservation.


And I adore her assessments of Rufus and Kingsley. Right on both counts.
dueltastic.dreamwidth.org
Jan. 5th, 2015 03:07 am (UTC)
Re: Pt 3
Amelia turned the handle, Rufus kicked open the door and all four of them got stuck in the doorway as they tried to go through it at the same time, while Alastor roared something menacing from his bed.

Amelia got her shield up just before falling over, taking the rest of them down with her. Alastor’s hex bounced against her shield with an ominous screeching sound and then continued to zing around his room, leaving a green trail of stream and burn marks in its wake. In the end it hit Alastor’s pillow, burning a hole straight through it.

[...]

“They, not me,” said Kingsley as he came into the room. He stepped over Amelia, scooping up the smaller of the gifts and grabbing hold of the bigger one, hoisting it over his shoulder, walking over to the bed and dumping them in Alastor’s lap. “You see, I’m not an inconsiderate idiot. They mean well, we both know that, but at times they are not exactly people-persons. They’ve got a twisted sense of humour.”


This is a big quote, but they are so fabulous, all together as they are. They're a menace to life and limb, and leave Kingsley to pick up the pieces because he's a real human being. Mystery Author, this is the best story. (Kingsley is right, of course, they do have a twisted sense of humor, but I suspect I do, too, because I love them so.)

They were, most likely, used to untangling their limbs from each other by now so Amelia assumed they could be left to their own devices.

Did I mention it was the best story?

“And this is from Malfoy Manor too?”

Amelia nodded in confirmation and Alastor started to unwrap it. He went very slowly like he was savoring the moment.


It's not just wonderful that they extorted a replacement leg and eye from Malfoy Manor, it's the joy they all get from it. This, truly, is the meaning of Christmas. I have a speck of dust in my eye, Mystery Author, that's all.

Which was a good way of putting it, Amelia thought, and watched as the eye that Alastor had lifted out of the box as it swirled around in its holder giving the impression of being a living entity.

A scary living entity.

Which it might just be...


Oh, Mystery Author, I like where you're going here.

then came an “Oh, fuck!” from Alastor, followed by a squelching sound as the eye seemed to burrow its way into his head. The hideous display ended with a nasty slurping sound as the flesh seemed to give way and suck the eye the remaining way into the empty eye socket in Alastor's face. And then eye went berserk! It spun wildly and dizzying around it's own axel, it's iris disappering into Alastor's head only spin out again, all the time moving independetly from the other eye giving the impresson of watching everyone and everything at the same time.

This is amazing. "Oh, no big deal, Alastor, we just made you an eye out of unholy dark relics of unknown provenance to spit in Malfoy's eye, and, er... er..." God, I love all those crazy fucking idiots running in where angels fear to tread, with grenades.

“Not only did you give me my eye-sight back...” He smiled broadly, “... I can see through the back of my head. I can see everything.” he said. “Everything!”

And then Alastor started to laugh.


I am now seeing how he earned the Mad-Eye portion of his name, and it is wonderful.

Mystery Author, this is a triumph. It is glorious. It is a polished gem of hard-drinking, hard-fighting, hard-snarking Auror craziness. It is a wonder of characterization. This is the very best present ever. I am so full of Christmas cheer right now, you have no idea. Because, really, isn't Aurors-and-booze what the holiday is all about? I think I speak for us all when I say that it is.

Edited at 2015-01-05 07:22 pm (UTC)
pyttan
Mar. 17th, 2015 07:05 pm (UTC)
How can I not love someone who gave me such a great prompt?

It didn't stop me from making a mess of it in my first attempt, but my Beta helped me to get on track with it.

And I wanted to squee with glee (which I might have done) that you liked the characterizations in the story. I adore the characters in it even if I haven't written many of them before, and I really wanted them to turn out well.

I love Moody, and I love Scrimgeour. I always wondered what those would have been like during the first war, before the rot created from to many bad experiences starts to set in. And the female Aurors, who get way to little attention in the Potterverse. I so wanted them to rule.

It always amazes me that there are so few Auror stories around in the Potterverse, because, really
I could think of a couple of more.

So thank you for giving me the opportunity with your prompt!
magnetic_pole
Jan. 8th, 2015 03:40 am (UTC)
Clever, clever! I've give a lot of thought to Moody's disabilities over the year (that sounds odd, I know, but fannish people under understand) and had hoped they would figure in his back story in the final books. But I'd never considered the magic eye or the leg as spoils of war! That's perfect for him. Enjoyed the story! M.
pyttan
Mar. 17th, 2015 07:07 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much! I always wondered about that too and the Auror prompt gave me such a lovely opportunity to explore that. And yes, fannish people understands.
shiv5468
Jan. 8th, 2015 09:19 pm (UTC)
Oh that has to hurt the Malfoys, losing a pricelss object for Alastor's eye. And such an intersting backstory to how he acquired it.
pyttan
Mar. 17th, 2015 07:11 pm (UTC)
I enjoy backstories and filled in blanks. So glad you found the premise of the story interesting.
Thank you!
lash_larue
Jan. 9th, 2015 12:05 am (UTC)
They all looked at Alastor. His skin was waxen, his remaining eye rested deep in its socket and his cheeks were hollow.

Moody looked dead.

But he wasn't.

And he wasn't going to be.

Not any time soon.


Fuckin' DUNK!

Awesome. The whole damn thing.

L

pyttan
Mar. 17th, 2015 07:13 pm (UTC)
So glad you enjoyed it. I'm really happy with getting the prompt too. Loved writing the Aurors.

Thank you so much!
queen_bellatrix
Jan. 9th, 2015 09:25 am (UTC)
Feedback part 1
Mystery author, this was excellent! First and foremost, I'm always captivated by well-executed examples of alternative storytelling e.g. nonlinear narrative etc. etc. And one of the ones I enjoy most is when letters/journals/reports convey a large chunk of the piece. Especially when the documents are written as wonderfully as these; this feels so completely like canonical HP Ministry jargon that I was nearly clapping as I read the vast majority of the reports, even when it wasn't warranted by the subject matter!

And ah, Malfoy comeuppance; you have no idea how much I've been wanting Malfoy comeuppance since Deathly Hallows; and especially after learning that Abraxas was the key architect behind the sacking of the one Muggle-born Minister the wizarding world ever had, seeing it fall on his head is so very sweet. And the image of Lucius in a body-bind; ah, MA, I fully intend to treasure that one for a long time to come.

All your povs are marvelous; I have to admit that Emmeline and Marlene are my favorites; it is so, so rare to see first Order ladies written well. But all of them are just so dry and matter-of-fact and no-nonsense, and they epitomize that indefinable quality that sets law enforcement/soldiers etc. etc. apart from civilians, even when there are no badges and there isn't a combat situation.

And oh Gods, a Healer with a disability fetish; so very, very plausible. If I weren't valiantly trying to restrain the urge to quote half of this back at you over three or four comments, I would quote that entire section, complete with italics for my favorite bits, because it's comedic gold that also manages to be terrifying, mostly, I think, because we see Alastor as such a strong character throughout cannon, and for so much of this, aside from a bit of bluster, he's not reacting in the way you'd expect self-preservation to motivate him to. Just a really fabulous way of showing without hammering us over the head just what a blow everything has been, while also giving us a scene that made me profoundly grateful I wasn't drinking anything while reading. It was so good/cathartic, at the end of the piece, to see Alastor take those first, tentative steps towards recovering; especially when one remembers cannon from Order onward, when it's clear he's completely overcome any stigma, and the prosthetic doesn't seem to hinder his doing any of the things he wants to.

I have to mention the romantic pairings, because you've done something marvelously subtle there. I love how they give plausibility/explanations for seemingly coincidental cannon events. I'm thinking especially of Kingsley/Marlene. We know from DH that Tonks most probably joined the Order because she was Mad-Eye's protégé; but we never got a satisfactory cannon explanation for why a more senior Auror would throw away his career to join. But, with Marlene in the picture, particularly knowing her canonical fate, him taking up the cause she died for, to fight alongside her comrades in both camps makes a tremendous amount of sense.

And Emmeline/Rufus; I have to talk about how happy Emmeline/Rufus made me for a minute. It's one of those rare pairings that holds an especial place in my heart, because it was in one of the first fics that engendered my unholy Rufus love. And you've done it masterfully here, especially with Amelia's insinuation that Rufus would get her killed. There again, knowing that Emmeline and Amelia die in the same week, it seems far to plausible that Voldemort killed Amelia, and then killed the sig other of the next person likely to get the job, either when Rufus refused to agree to step aside, or simply as a way to try and break him.

And now for lines, because my self control only goes so far.:d

And he had. Before this Moody had refused to even try, no matter what anyone had said or done, but Rufus had not only got him up, he'd had him fighting too.

This just encapsulated for me the "Auror outlook" I was talking about earlier; the idea that as long as there's a battle, you can pull through, because the fight's not over until you've won. Along with that, the very fact that it's Rufus's fall-back technique with Moody says *so much* about Rufus's own characterization.
queen_bellatrix
Jan. 9th, 2015 09:26 am (UTC)
Re: Feedback part 2
Then he kissed her, and Merlin save her from this man, because she had no defences against him.

“I found an empty room down this corridor. Want to celebrate with me?” he asked as he broke the kiss and stroked his hand down her hair.

She shouldn't. He wasn't good for her. He'd never been good for her, and he was never going to be.

She nodded and went with him down the corridor, feeling better than she had for weeks.

*inner shipper curls up in a contented ball* What a beautiful summation of their relationship, without sugarcoating the fact that it most definitely has flaws that may or may not be surmountable in the future. I especially loved the last line; it would be easy to simply dismiss Emmeline as a pile of hormones. But this line makes it clear that while she's absolutely clear on Rufus's flaws (and oh, how I love that you set that up before you told us they were in a relationship) he gives her something that's worth trying to make this work.

Emmeline snorted. “Don’t be stupid, Rufus. We won’t get permission to search his mansion for dark artefacts. Not even you would be able to pull that off, short of sleeping with that Umbridge woman and that won’t happen.” Emmeline gave Rufus a look that could have burnt a hole in him.

Not only was that a fabulous Emmeline characterization moment in which she got one of the best lines, and you got to show how she and Rufus contrasted/complimented one another, but: I have no idea if you'd read Jo's Umbridge bio while writing this; if not, you're precognizant; if you did, best use of Pottermore cannon I've seen in ages! (If you've no idea what I'm on about, Jo made it clear that Umbridge tried to seduce any/all of her superiors in Magical Law Enforcement because she knew having a charming, powerful husband would get her places faster)

“How is calling him 'hideously deformed' better than saying that he looks dead and crying a bit?”
Oh, Kingsley, thank you for saying what I wanted to for so long in that scene. Also speaking of Kingsley, you managed, in a nutshell with Amelia's assessment to explain exactly why he was the sort of person to completely reform the Ministry; bravo!

“Then get out,” Marlene said, her voice steady as she got up from the visitor’s chair and reached for her wand in one smooth movement.
Ah, and this is why I like your Marlene so much; that entire sequence was wonderful!

Marlene couldn't believe he had the gall to even comment on her cleaning spells, considering the lack of hygiene at the Hog’s Head.

“You have hags, Dung, and at least one night stalker as regular guests here, beside who-knows-what's hiding under shawls and hats, so are you really that surprised?"
Again, just a fabulous Marlene sequence, with one of the best rejoinders in the entire fic.

“Because listening to you lot being slow almost made me cry, and that’s not something I do,” said Aberforth. “How hard can it be? You need to get Alastor up and about. And then you need to let him get back at them somehow, without him ending up in Azkaban. And you lot know they did it, so all you need to figure out is what would hurt them most without you getting caught doing anything untoward.”
I rarely see the camaraderie Aberforth must've had with the other members of the Order explored in fic. So, seeing him being as enraged about Moody as they were and giving them a push in the right direction (with drinks on the house, no less, which must be unheard of in that bar!) was fantastic; I want to see more of Aberforth's bonds with the Order members now.

Before I close, I have to compliment you on that sequence with Kingsley and Rufus at the Hogs Head, where Rufus asks if Lucius and Kingsley were friends. I love that glimpse at how the atrocities the pure-bloods are committing is inevitably leading to reverse prejudice, even against the good ones. Just a very logical consequence of such a brutal war.
twisted_twister
Jan. 9th, 2015 08:04 pm (UTC)
what a believable story of how Moody got his eye and leg! I can so see it happening!

The different sections were done really well, IMO, and the characterisation is perfect. Moody is so Moody, and Rufus is annoying and effective, just like he is in cannon. Aberforth is also brilliant; so to the point and no nonsense.

I found the description of how the eye got inside its pocket sickly fascinating and amazingly sick. Well done there with the sound effect department!

And the Eye of Horus!!!!!! How original and wonderful! Loved the leg pic that inspired it, too. A really fantastic story.
katmarajade
Aug. 12th, 2015 12:03 am (UTC)
This is brilliant! I very much enjoyed it. What a clever history behind his eye and leg. And I loved the whole group of Aurors-- a great mix of professional and personal relationships. And I just cannot get over how much I love them taking the stuff for his prosthetics from the Malfoys! Genius!
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